Intsiksiomai's Blog

Babies are not Puppies!

Posted on: July 28, 2009

I have been observing a lot of people, men and women alike. It seems to me that many people cannot understand the full responsibility of parenthood, of raising another human being, of providing quality life to that human being, of forming a strong bond with that human being, and developing that human being to its fullest potential possible, without hindering the growth and potentials of the parents themselves. This is a huge responsibility. But many people do not even see it that way. Many people view having children like getting pets. Sure, they adore babies, like they adore puppies and kittens, or birds and fish. All babies are cute. All babies are harmless creatures. But babies are not pets! Babies grow into real human beings. They will have their own Will, their own Convictions, form their own Character and Personality, and they will have Freedom.
Most people love to cuddle babies, probably because humans have insatiable appetite for affection. Adults “learn” to be embarrassed with showing and demonstrating affection. This is even worse among Chinese. Chinese are more uptight and stuck up. My parents are making it a big deal whenever they see couples hold hands in the mall. All Chinese parties I go to are so superficially staged. I would rather get a genuine hug and affection than a superficial “Angpao” from them.
Pinoys have their own mistaken motives for having many children. They use their own children to support the family. But to give them the benefit of the doubt, many babies are accidentally conceived. The more educated Pinoys learn to use contraceptives and birth control, which is good, but the uneducated and poor ones don’t know how to go about it. They are just not knowledgeable with family planning. The Catholic influence is also a hindrance in providing tools to these poor uneducated Pinoys. Thus, Philippines becomes a haven of prostitutes, beggars, and thieves.
Chinese,
on the other hand, are just as mistaken with their motives. Even if they plan to only have one kid, or two kids, they wind up having more. This is because they have to “compete” for a male offspring. The male is so prized that wives are looked down upon by their peers if they cannot conceive a boy. I know a couple who only planned to have two kids. They wind up having seven, 6 girls and 1 boy! What are the ramifications of this happening? The girls don’t get enough attention, affection, financial and moral support from the parents. The girls wind up “helping” the brother and the parents, enslaving themselves all for the glory of the brother. Six human beings have to live with LOWER Quality of Life, just because of the mistaken motives of ignorant parents. Isn’t this a form of human degradation?
Babies are not pets. Girls are not subhumans or pets,too. If we want affection and loyalty with very little responsibilities, we get a puppy, not a baby, and not a meek and obedient girl who behaves like a puppy.

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6 Responses to "Babies are not Puppies!"

brilliant post!

‘parents’ are ‘human’…and humans are mammals…mammals are genetically designed to “love” their babies…unlike insect where they just leave their eggs (babies).

btw, pls. delete my comment in “about” 🙂

I’m not questioning the love (which is merely emotions and impulses). I’m questioning the skills, sense of responsibility, and the motives of most parents. What are their motives for wanting children?
1. Are the motives right?
2. Suppose they have the right motives, do they have the sense of responsibility to raise their children?
3. Suppose they have the sense of responsibility, do they have the skills to raise them? And enough resources–time, money, moral support,etc.?

In some or a number of cases, the motives of parents are already skewed. They start off wrong, and they go even more wrong as the parenthood progresses.

My initial impression during our discussions is that you are male.

I like your articles intsik siomai including the previous ones after this one above. I can sense that you are an intelligent lady and I believe that you are much wiser than the average women. My personal wish for you is that you will still find in the future the male partner, that will understand you better than everybody else and give you the right affection that every lady truly so deserved.

It is only my hope that your dreams will not lead to ‘fantasy’, that is, that there is perfect guy out there somewhere to satisfy your personal liking. There is none and that is for sure. As you will realized that you yourself is not perfect neither can you find one from the opposite sex.

I am now a pure 58 year old Filipino man who happened to marry a pure Chinese woman, with two kids aged 26 and 22 both still single and leaving with us.

Just like everybody else marriage relationships, ours is not perfect. So we have the usual verbal fights especially for the first 10 years, emotional flares when patience was used up to the limits and bad modes especially for my wife during the menopause stages. But we can say that overall our family is a happy one, with contentment, no single quarrels on financial matters (although I am just an ordinary bank employee, thanks for wife who is not materialistic) and with overall peace in the house.

My heart was somewhat emotionally soften and also sad, reading your not too good experiences in human relations. My desire is for you to find that happiness which can only be true felt when shared to others especially to the man of your love.

People always asked. What is the purpose of life. In a nutshell life is preparation for eternity. God want us to be with Him forever. We were made by God and for God, and until your figure that out, life is not going to make sense.

One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body, but not at the end of me.

Life is a series of problems: Either your are in one now, you are just coming out of one, or you are getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort (which is not wrong). God is more intereted in making your life holy than He is making your life happy (which is not wrong again.)

We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that is not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.

Saying all these, therefore is not wrong at all, if you still remain single all your life. For what is important is that you grow in character too in the duration of your earthly journey.

Thanks for the concern. I’m currently happily involved with a wonderful man and leading and living a good life. I have views contrary to the masses and I just like to put it in journals like this. The stories that I share here are the ones happening around me and my past experiences as well. Most of them are “untold stories” because of social, diplomatic considerations and also lack of awareness of people inside and outside the community. I’m not just a keen observer of this “happening”, but also an active participant in this game of life. I may have overcome most of my obstacles, but I’m sure many are still in such “compromising” or “unconscious” situations.
After Foot-Binding,(which my lola had undergone), this is the next chapter…I wish I took a photo of my lola’s feet before she died. She was actually happy with her lot in life, unconscious of her own oppression. Many people(esp girls) are ignorant of their own oppressive situation and die happily ignorant.

theven

Humans are mammals true. But unlike lower mammals, humans have choice, free will, rational thought (most of all).

Stonyclub

Happiness is relative. Some people are “happy with their lot in life”. You may be happy despite the frequent fights that you mentioned. That is both good and bad depending how you view things. (bad for me) Nevertheless, we should strive for a better situation and quality of life. The more perfect we can make it the better.

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