Intsiksiomai's Blog

Superficial Politeness vs Genuine Respect

Posted on: July 15, 2009

I noticed that most people, especially the older ones, expect/demand/thirst for respect. But what they get is just mere superficial politeness. The old people wants reverence for their supposed wisdom and experience, the younger working class wants recognition and admiration by putting titles such as Atty, Dr, Father on their names, and the girls want to be treated like ladies by gentlemen boys. People are easily flattered by the superficial politeness that are thrown on them. They tend to put more value points on someone who are polite, no matter how trashy or evil the person is. They are not sharp enough to see the real perception of the polite person on them. More often than not, the person addressing them as Ma’am or Sir don’t really respect them. They might even hate and curse the person they are being polite with. The gentlemanly suitor might just want to go to bed with the girl, so he treats her like jewel for now. Wait till he gets his piece of cake. Or maybe, the suitor is gentlemanly because he wants to be admired by the girl, and that’s the only quality he can be proud of, being a gentleman! For all we know, he is some insecure loser who desperately needs a gf. Politeness is closer to diplomacy. The diplomats are trained to say a lot of nice things without really meaning them. They are trained to talk for hours without saying anything at all. Politeness may be a good thing if not overused and overrated. It may prevent chaos or violence when used properly. But politeness has been one of the most overrated quality in a person. It even surpassed the value of caliber, genuineness, sincerity, kindness, goodness in its higher sense, integrity, and genuine respect. Genuine respect cannot be easily given by most people. We are naturally intolerant of diversity. And most genuine respect is earned, by the actions one does, success one attains, or character one shows. We cannot force others to genuinely respect us, for their regard is deep in their hearts and souls, and not in the words they utter or gestures they display. Why should we genuinely respect old people when they just lived longer than us, just like the old tree outside our garden or the ugly antique sink that does not even serve its purpose. Why do men genuinely respect girls, when men are stronger, smarter, more useful than the girls? Why even bother putting up with a whining, bitching, weak, dumb, useless girl? If we look past the facade that most people display, then we will see that very few people are capable of genuine respect – for humanity, for nature, for things, for life. Otherwise, there will be less fights, wars, chaos, greed, hatred. Genuine respect acknowledges the sacredness of an entity. It allows the entity to grow beautifully or just admires its beauty if its a thing. It may nurture or give space, but it never destroys. I hope that people will eventually learn to distinguish superficial politeness from genuine respect, and we all aim to give and receive the latter. I also hope that we will see the genuine respect even without the politeness displayed, and we would know if the politeness is just a fake.

2 Responses to "Superficial Politeness vs Genuine Respect"

This is one of the most beautiful blog posts I have read ever. Keep on blogging.

This post took the words out of my mouth…I have been thinking that a lot of people show politeness, but they feel no real respect. It’s like when a foreigner goes to Japan for example, he comes back saying how they are so polite and so on and so forth, he is very happy because he is treated with so much politeness…but I am always worried because I don’t know if there is any respect towards him…I am afraid they treat him with politeness because that’s just what they do, they have to.

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