Intsiksiomai's Blog

Crab Mentality Under the guise of Words of Comfort

Posted on: May 1, 2009

Whenever I air my complaints to my friends, they often dismiss me by saying:“That’s nothing, I know some people who are in worse situation than you.  Look at me, I grew up without parents and I ended up having a good life…” Hey, why do they like dismissing my concerns?  Just because they know someone in a lousier situation who are surviving doesn’t mean my concerns are not valid.  Why are they dismissing my concerns?  Why are they dismissing its validity?  It’s pointless talking to these people.  I don’t even know if they mean well by saying those words of comfort.  At best, they mean well and are offering some comfort.  At worst, they don’t want to offer any solutions so I can suffer and they will feel better about themselves.

We are all given different situations  and talents and gifts.  We should be able to OPTIMIZE them, deal with our situations the best way possible.  It’s ridiculous dismissing my problems with my current situation just because they are born with lousier talents and situations.  Why will they compare me with the beggars or orphans or muslim girls? I am born with much better conditions than that.  It’s a good thing I want to improve and optimize.  Otherwise, the minute I was born, I can die because I was already luckier than average.  Or maybe I shouldn’t even bother going to school, because I was already more educated than my parents?  Just be complacent?

Example1: I feel bad that my diet isn’t working. I put on some weight instead of losing weight.  What will I do?  This is their answer.  “Don’t worry, all of your friends are fatter than you, you look ok.” Duh.

Example2: Sis complained about her lousy relationship with her bf.  Her friends said:“That’s normal.  My boyfriend slaps me on both side of the face.  You should consider yourself lucky that your bf only insults you verbally.”

This is my reply to all my friends and family who likes dismissing my concerns as if they are not valid.  “When you have cancer, I’ll tell you not to worry and still consider yourself lucky.  My uncle is dead and he’s not even complaining!”

hahaha! Dismiss.

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