Intsiksiomai's Blog

God and Religion will always be around, not because of pantheistic world view.  It’s because God fills any VOID or lapse in our INTELLECT and EMOTION.  Humans start off asking what is thunder, why is there rain, why do we get sick?   And most humans cannot live with not knowing.  Our greatest gift is our greatest curse.  Curiosity brought humanity to where we are, information age, artificial intelligence, cellphones, satellites, rockets… but the same desire for knowledge make us very uneasy with things that we still don’t know.   That’s why we created GOD who knows everything that we don’t know.    The less a human knows, the more his god knows.  The more a human knows, the less his god knows.

Humans are compassionate people.  We comfort others who lost their loved ones with an afterlife that we are never even sure of.  The only sure thing of afterlife we will be is carbon, we turn into carbon. Yet we fill our misery, our helplessness,  with GOD to comfort us.  When someone has tragedies in life, they also tend to “find” god.  Women with no significant other also tend to be “in love” with god.  God fills our emotional holes, and rather than finding the solution or living with pain, we tend to prefer the easy way out, the sedative pill called GOD.

Religion,  is the organized community with god/s as the center.  Religion has always filled the void and gaps that any government cannot provide.  If a state cannot afford hospitals and medicine, the state tends to have more churches to substitute healthcare with god through hope.  If communities tend to be fragmented and directionless, churches provide the socialization and sports & hobbies, for people to have a sense of belongingness.  Remember hierarchy of human needs of Abraham Maslow,  BELONGINGNESS is a basic human need, next to physiological and security&safety, Love and Belongingness.   In some cases,  church also serves like a Chamber of Commerce for business and salespeople, a dating platform for socially awkwards, a charity platform, and even a psychotherapist replacement or marriage therapists replacement for countries with no professionals.

In advanced countries in Europe (West and North), there are really professionals in medical community to address psychotherapy needs, there are football clubs, sports clubs, dance lesson clubs, social clubs, hospitals, medicine, book clubs, elderly clubs. That’s why their churches have turned into museums and concert halls.    For us here in 3rd world, church organizations will still be very popular as long as government and private organizations have not fulfilled all social and medical needs of people.

 

 

Economics drives rules of society and influence how people want to arrange the way they want to live.  Different times, different geography, different ratio of demographics, different economics favor different set-up of community and family structure.

Women usually outlive and outnumber men in most societies as they don’t do the hunting and more life-threatening activities, they don’t go to war.  At the same time, men usually out-earn women due to their daring skills or necessary skills in society.  This is why polygamy has been very common in the past.  In ancient Chinese society, a man is even required to marry the widowed sister of his wife,  because that ensures the economics of the widowed sister plus her children.  Polygamy was the “moral” thing to do in such case.

The driving force for monogamy is jobs for the masses where women can earn and participate equally or almost equally as men.  The invention of the pill (contraceptives) also helped in having women maintain their job until retirement age.  She won’t be burdened with many kids to care for.  Thanks as well to more peaceful times, as less men die in wars these days.

If we want to maintain monogamy, instead of using “fear of hell” and immoralizing polygamy or polyamory, we should make sure the factors that lead to it (monogamy) are maintained– balance of power between man-woman(between couples) and men-women in general, economics, balanced men-women population, and proper divorce laws.

 

Farming Age or Era of human civilization shaped so many of our beliefs and practices that are present even today in the Age of Information.   Farmers celebrate the change of seasons with festivals and god offerings.  They have figured out change of seasons by tracking the length of days and nights.  Easter is the spring equinox, or the day and night are of equal length.  This signals the start of planting crops.  Celebrate!  Food seeding!  Christmas is winter solstice, the shortest day and longest night of the year.  This signals making sure the food reserves are kept proper, enough for the whole community to last until the next planting season begins again.

People from all parts of the world used to assign a god or gods for any unexplained event that are especially important in human lives.  Example: Sun, Rain, Thunder, Fertility..  all important for humans.  Different geography and races find something they can associate or identify with to refer to as god or gods.  That’s why Thor-god of Thunder looks like a Nordic Viking , Isis-god of benevolence looks Egyptian,  GuanYin-god of compassion looks Chinese, and Black Nazarene-all around god of pity for the poor,  looks like a native Pinoy(Filipino).

EMPIRE EXPANSION during Roman domination requires a smart efficient strategy.  Consolidation of Power needs MONOTHIESMOne empire, one god, all power, all resources.  One empire needs one god to have all the power and get all the resources.    Imagine if you are the puppeteer of sun, moon, rain, fertility of humans and crops, thunder, sickness, plague, the pupeteer of the ONLY god.  How much power is that?  Christianity hijacked the simpletons’ innocent festivals and it was smooth transition.  Habits are already there.  One can celebrate for one’s personal reason, or join the crowd Happy Easter or Merry Christmas.  Whatever.

Other groups who want absolute power have followed the trend of monotheism as a tool of conquering nations/countries.   Religion is cheaper than weapons, persuasion is more effective than aggression.  Attach this monotheistic religious ideology to every food, bridges, schools, cityhalls , and you’ve got a perfect colony.  Right, Spain?

Dutch and English colonizers are more neutral traders and upfront colonizers, Spanish are more sneaky.  Americans are also sneaky.  Most if not all universities in the Philippines are built with religious ideology attached to it.   Like you cannot learn algebra without praying first.

Death is not the pain of the dead but the pain of the one who suffers the loss.   It was accidental that I observe we can practice the grief of death.  It is not really the actual death of the person when we experience the death.  It could be a total break up and not talking and seeing and feeling the presence of the person in our life anymore.  Suffering the total loss of contact is like suffering the death of that person.  I suppose we can only perceive from our perspective.  I’m not sure if empathetic people would not suffer and grieve for the total loss of contact but not actual death.  But surely for me, if a person has no more presence in my life, it is as if I suffer his loss or his death.

If my exbf/s whom I have no contact with dies now, what difference does it make to my life now?  I have grieved for their loss a long time ago.    When my dad died, it was less painful than when we lost touch of each other’s life over the years.   I didn’t realize he died a long time ago in essence in my life.  I didn’t realize I have grieved and suffered his loss over years of loss of connection, that when the actual death of the body arrived, it was less painful than the previous years of “death”.

I view it more positive that my current partner is not around intermittently.  I’m not sure if I’m just turning it around, but it is like practicing small deaths.  So when/if he actually dies, I don’t suffer so much.   A little pain, a little frequent pain strengthens.  This would be ridiculous though if the pain is coming from unnecessary causes like bad fights.  I’m talking about pain from inevitable, pain of death.

 

Feminists will be the last beneficiaries of enlightenment.  This is something I realized upon contemplating on sharing my complaints about being a 2nd rate citizen.  The first layer that has to be stripped off is THEISM.  Most if not all religions say that women submit, obey, and are 2nd rate humans.  The second layer to peel off is CULTURE.  Most cultures that has set tradition and practices view women as mere supporters of men.  This is what CONFUCIANISM  in CHINESE and KOREAN culture teach.  Even the Filipino-Spanish culture of Maria Clara and modest virgin girls are crazy.   The European chivalry culture also sucks.   If the culture is non-culture, then girls will be more progressive or has a better chance to progress.

I realize I shouldn’t even bother empowering girls who are theists and/or culturists.  It’s going to be tedious and a waste of my energy.

I’m obviously a feminist, although I’m not a member of any organized feminist group yet.  I guess I’m too busy developing myself to even bother joining one.  One thing I noticed with a lot of feminist movements is their focus on eradication of domestic violence and teaching livelihood programs to victims like basket weaving. Although the advocacy is positive, it also goes to show how backward we still are.  It means that many girls still tolerate some slaps and kicks, and they only shout foul when their life is endangered??  That’s still a ridiculous way of living a life.  After these girls escape from their husband, they are taught a stupid way of making money like basket weaving?? What is that, a promotion of cheap labor for china factories?

I think feminist groups should highlight and focus optimal development for girls instead of dwelling on their victimhood.  Man/Men shouldn’t even be our goal.  We may even exceed some of their expertise, who knows?

The 4 key areas that girls should focus on to attain optimal development are as follows:

1. Education and Awareness= One can be academically competent but may lack the awareness of her rights as an individual.  Individual is higher than/precedes gender.

2. Physical Competence = Girls should learn basic dodging and kicking, should have decent mobility for function and protection.

3. Financial/Economic Independence= Most girls endure because they can’t fend for themselves. Stop basket weaving for 10 pesos a basket.

4. Birth Control= Girls go to a downward spiral when they cannot control giving birth.  A baby is a financial liability, a time consuming, energy depleting task that prevents girls from doing items 1,2, & 3.  Take Charge of this! This is the number 1 weakness of girls because they think that it’s their husband who decides for this, or are afraid that if they don’t give in to sex, their partner will fool around.  Who cares?  If the guy leaves, let him leave.  If the guy impregnates someone else, so be it.  We shouldn’t care how his life or their life turn out. We want to make sure how our life will turn out.

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One concept I find very important in my daily life is DOMAIN.  My definition of domain is the “tangible and intangible territory in which I’m the only one responsible for and that nobody should invade or violate“.    The tangible ones include all my personal properties, money, bank accounts.  The intangible ones are my philosophies, my values system, my time, my choices of food, clothing, hobbies, and jobs.

For someone who is individualistic and has a strong sense of self like me, it’s easier to be constantly aware of my domain as well as other people’s domain.  But for others who value and seek a sense of belongingness, it can be quite difficult.  People close to us will try to make us guilty because a certain act we have “affects” them.  My question is am I acting outside of my domain and invading their domain?   How valid are their “feelings” or “how I affected them”? I usually measure the validity of their feelings base on how much of my action is within my domain and how much of it is possibly a “shared domain”.  For instance, a friend can force me to eat a piece of cake because it’s his birthday.  He may even appeal to my sense of guilt and say he’ll feel bad if I don’t and it’s his birthday.  But if it’s a strict diet day for me, I will decline politely and stick to my diet.  That is within my domain and I shouldn’t care if he’ll feel bad or if it’s his birthday. My not eating doesn’t truly affect him.  In fact, it has nothing to do with him.

The issue of domain may not seem huge, but if it’s translated into closely entwined relationships like parent-child, husband-wife relationship, it is very crucial.. I think the only time we can intrude and invade in someone else’s domain is when the person is insane or self-destructive. (like addiction)

I was chatting with a Christian married woman last week.  She told me that she has very strong character but she learned that it’s the husband who will be accountable for his entire family to god, so she has to give in and obey most of the time.  She even said she has to constantly stroke her husband’s ego because he is the man and he has to feel like the man. She also advises her daughter to tone down her personality since she is like her mom– assertive.  What a load of crap! I introduced the idea of domain to her and she’s resistant to it saying when you’re married and have children, there’s no more ‘who’s domain’.

Shared responsibility is way different from having no personal domain.  Her husband’s muscles are not her muscles.  She can ask him to lift 50 kg for her, but it’s him doing the lifting, not her.  He can be making tons of money that he can share with her, but it’s still him doing it, not her.  I guess for someone who did just the washing and cleaning, they want the illusion that no domain exist within each member of the family.  Not being aware and respectful of our domain and other people’s domain can be draining, depleting, and exhausting for everyone. There’s always an invisible  tug-of-war.  That is why I’m extremely protective of my domain but I’m also very respectful of other’s domain.

 

 

I’m usually disappointed whenever people bring their lovers with them in a party/gathering/social event.  Of course, I’m also somewhat offended/insulted (just impulsively) whenever people ask for my bf.  Why?  A lover/bf/gf is the best shield one can have.  It shields us from interacting with other people.  It shields us from having really engaging talks with others. It prevents us from actually meeting the good looking people of the opposite sex, since we are afraid of a jealous attack from our partner.  Other people will hesitate to approach and intrude a couple since they have their own little world.  Oftentimes, lovers also act like butlers to each other, which I find distracting.

I impulsively feel insulted whenever people ask for my bf’s presence all the time.  Why?  Am I so boring alone?  I don’t feel like a shadow of a man, or a broken half of a whole.    Sure, there’s a risk of being out of place and feeling like a loser, but the reward of having possible new friends is worth it.

Dictionary.com has a funny way of giving synonyms to the word “polite”.  Some of the synonyms used are condescending, conciliatory, diplomatic, punctilious. On the other hand,”respect” had synonyms of esteem, regard, honor, value.

People keep interchanging these 2 different concepts. It’s just frustrating to keep correcting people about it.

When we say “please” or “excuse me” to strangers or servicemen, when we say “po” or “opo” and help old people cross the street, when a gentleman opens the door to a lady, when we accommodate old people, that’s just mere POLITENESS.    The most that we can demand from others if we want to be treated in a nice way is also just mere politeness. One can NEVER RESPECT AN OPPOSING OPINION, until it ceases to be opposing and someone finally agrees or becomes convinced.  We may have religious tolerance, but we can never respect the person’s different religious conviction.

People are polite for different reasons.  Fear is often a motivating factor of politeness, especially if politeness is directed towards people with power, higher positions, or older grouches.  I also quite agree with the funny synonym condescending as a motivation for politeness.  We tend to be careful not to hurt the feelings of service crews and maids so we give them extremely polite orders.  The polite manner in which we address them is contrasted with the act of ordering them around.  In some cases, some snooty people just want to display an air of sophistication by being extremely polite to others they consider lower in status.  They just want to display their polishness more than really liking anybody in the party. Men are afraid to be rejected by women so they also act gentlemanly not out of respect, but to ensure that they won’t be rejected by women/potential preys.  Society has brainwashed us to treat old people with respect.  Again, treating them in a certain way doesn’t necessarily mean the esteem, regard, high valuation are there.  In many cases, it’s pity, guilt, and fear of criticism that we feel, mistaken as “respect”.

I’m not dissuading anybody to be polite.  I’m just here to clarify, distinguish, and make aware. In terms of gradient of motivation, polite  can be from negative to neutral to positive, while respect is always positive.  No more misnomers. Don’t get flattered over politeness.

I often complain about how girls in general tend to live half-a-life, since they stop growing and developing when they start having romantic relationships and/or kids.  Although some men can be guilty of such, at least they are not as complacent in some areas like maybe their work or their sports.  Moms train their kids on swimming, tennis, judo, vocabulary building, sudoku, spelling, while they themselves stop and “feel old”, stopping at age 20-25.  I also often complain how our charitable billionaires focus so much on feeding the poor, and just making more people “merely survive”.  Few of our charitable billionaires invest their extra money in transforming more people into “self-actualizers”.   While a billion people live as maggots, only a few people are “truly alive, authentic, and thrive”.

My idea of thriving doesn’t necessarily mean that all people become Bill Gates.  In reality, if we listen to our inner self, most of us have just simple ideals.   “Sense of fit” is what I call it, too.  We form, own, practice, and embody our personal values and philosophical convictions.  We do the things that’s fitted for us.  We are with friends and partner that’s fitted for us.  Alive, Authentic, Thrive…

I bumped into a very nice article about self-actualization that says it all..

http://www.trans4mind.com/mind-development/maslow.html